You

Your words would have hurt me once. Today they fuel me. You have brought me pain in the past but your words are starting to catch up to me no matter how far I run. Do you remember saying them? Do you think about them every day of your life and regret them?Do you ever remember ruining my life?

I remember. Your name. Your words. Your hate. Everything. I remember everything. Although I never could figure out why you did it? Did I make a wrong turn? Did I offend you? Why did you hate me? Why do you hate me? I have forgiven you. I'm just waiting for your unspoken apology to reach your lips that have stuttered out too many insults to count and they all found their way into my memory. Burning a hole in my self-esteem. You were the person who taught me what fat meant. You were the one who made me cruel to my siblings. 

I am now unfazed by your slurs of disgust towards me. I stopped sucking in my stomach during pictures just because your constant reminder of my 'disgusting' appearance is buzzing through my head. I stopped alienating myself at social gatherings just because you told me once that I don't belong here. I stopped wearing a noose as a scarf every day just because you told me to kill myself. I stopped discouraging myself just because you thought I was dumb. I stopped trying to be a poster child just because you claimed it was the best way to live. I just want you to know I am not that fragile girl that will listen to every word that comes out of your mouth and kneels before you waiting on your every whim. I am glad I never listened to the final fatal words you spoke so harshly to me when I told you I was leaving. I never told you that you were the reason I left. I am not cruel. I will not give in to your ways. 

Thank you. If you never hated me the way you did I can't guarantee that the others like you wouldn't affect me anymore. You gave me thick skin but it is also blocking out the love my friends and family are trying to give me. This suffering I am going through is your fault. I hate you but I would never wish you the same fate you craved for me to live through or die in the process of it. 

Sincerely,

the fat, stupid girl you destroyed in 3rd grade.

P.S. Please never talk to me again. I want nothing to do with you.